The scene: J.'s backyard, during his going-away party. Gaby, Shannon, Ernie and I are sitting lined up in a row, and Gaby (age 4 1/2) is dishing on the latest from school.
Gaby: Bobby is my boyfriend. I am his girlfriend. I love him best and he loves me best.
[a few minutes later]
Shannon: Tell us what happened in school.
Gaby: Well, Bobby and I were playing kitty. And then he didn't want to play kitty no more, but I really wanted him to play kitty. I tried everything. I tried giving him a sticker. Didn't work. I tried giving him a hug. Didn't work. I tried telling him the truth. Didn't work. I tried everything! Didn't work. Then Nathan came and he didn't want to play kitty either. Bobby wanted to play Dragonball [I thought she was saying "Dragon Mom," which sounds better] and I did not want to play that. Nathan wanted to play ice cream store and I did not want to play that. It was very hard.
[some sort of tangent about heart-shaped leaves]
Me: So what happened with Nathan and Bobby?
Gaby: We played kitty.
And... scene.
How great is that. I love that kid so, so much, and I really needed some nice distraction from answering the 43rd person who asked me why I wasn't moving to Ith*ca with J. I am so not who I want to be in this situation... I want to be cool and calm and collected. Or, I'd settle for brittle and funny. (At various points during the day, Shannon and Alissa and I came up with quite a few good suggestions for what I COULD say, such as “I wanted to go to Ith*ca, but J says he needs me here to continue prostituting myself, to pay for his Ph.D.” Better, right?)
Anyway. Am not calm, cool or collected. Although I never really am any of those things, so I guess it's unreasonable to expect myself to be them now, under duress. Damn it. I need a sticker.
