If I am ever tempted to set foot outside the DC metro area ever ever ever again, someone stop me. If it's not a 15-minute journey from my house by foot, car or public transportation that costs under $1.20 ($3 if it's rush hour) I'm not going. Actually, if it's rush hour, I'm not going period.
BWI, I give up. An hour delay on the plane in Boston because the engine isn't working, a 45-minute wait for a bus to return to Daily Lot B for the privilege of paying $35 to retrieve our car, a two-hour crawl through a Memorial Day traffic extravaganza -- that would have been enough. But just to cement the deal, there's a flattened rat in the parking space behind the house, apparently done in by my right front tire when I pulled in at the end of the super-awesome journey. I get it, BWI. I don't understand how you managed to put that rat there, but you win. Gwen 0, BWI 40 million + 1 dead rat. I'm never leaving again.
Here is a quiz for you. Ready? Find the statement that is not true. This weekend, I:
a) went to Fenway Park for the first time
b) actually cheered for the stupid whiny Red Sox
c) completed the Sunday Boston Globe crossword puzzle
d) ate pickled cactus
e) gave a stranger in a bar a piece of candy that said "blow me"
f) gave a stranger in a bar a piece of candy that said "nice tits"
g) gave a stranger in a bar a piece of candy that said "muff diver"
h) met a fabled swing voter -- a drunk fabled swing voter -- and discussed the voting record of Jhn Krry*
i) went miniature golfing wearing a visor with my name on it
Winner gets 1,000 prestige points and the rest of the box of X-rated candy from the bachelorette party, if it's not all smashed at the bottom of my suitcase.
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*vowels removed so there are no hits on this page for people seeking "Jhn Krry mff dvr" -- that's not my target demographic
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