Things I Would Like To Learn,
by Gwen.

How to pull and maintain a better poker face.
How to cook without using any dishes that need to be washed afterward.
How to amass a personal fortune.
How to avoid getting sucked into reruns of "Law and Order" just because other people in the house are sitting on the couch, eating chocolate chips, watching intently and providing incisive commentary.
How to find hot Japanese teens -- oh, wait, that's just what my spam wants me to learn. :)
How to practice homeopathic healing.
How to do more knitting stitches.
How not to take it personally.

The end.

H. was here this weekend and it was the best time I've had in ages. She rules. Rules, I say. H., you are so NOT redder on the box -- you are redder than the box's wildest dreams.

And speaking of ruling, it was Kelly's birthday on Friday. Twenty-five short years ago, Kelly was born unto this earth, and the earth smiled, because Kelly was good, and because it knew we all needed her to keep us sane and straight (no pun -- well, yeah, OK, sort of) and happy and laughing and loved. Long live Queen Kelly.