This weekend, the Magic Money Fairy came to my house and threw 17 giant bags of money in the window.
This weekend, at age 90, I gave birth to a son. I was kind of jealous of my husband Abraham's concubine, who also gave birth to a son, so I had her and the baby banished, thus beginning 3,000 years of strife between two major world religions. Actually, thus creating the separate religions in the first place, which, when you get down to it, are the real problem.
This weekend, I grew a second head to act as a back-up hard drive for my brain, which is already coming in very handy, because I managed to remember how to get somewhere difficult this morning.
This weekend, I decided that Arnold would actually make an excellent president governor.
This weekend, I learned to leap tall buildings in a single bound. My cape is coming in the mail tomorrow.
This weekend, I finished "Seabiscuit." (Ha. That one is even more fictitious than the others.)
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