apple butter and politics
Have nothing to do with each other as far as I can tell. I was trying to think of an elegant metaphor to link them together, but really, I'm just going to make you read my boring political musings before I give you the recipe I promised back when we were broken. But you're stuck with the politics before the apple butter! Ha ha! All my base are belong to me! [Or you could just scroll past that part to the recipe. --Eds.] [Da scroll! Da scroll! Da button! Da button! Scrolling so smooth like da butter on da muffin! --Strongbad]

Sorry about the not making sense to most of you. I swear these connections are clear in my head, but it's late and I'm well on my way to breaking my new year's resolution about going to bed earlier for the first time. Yes. Ahem.

So D.C. held its Democratic primary today. What? you ask. Isn't that before Iowa and New Hampshire? Isn't that breaking the rules? Well, yes. It is. That's why it's total bullshit -- and, I found out today, even more bullshit than it seems:

D.C. Democratic leaders sought to comply with party rules by making the primary non-binding and agreeing to select delegates to the Democratic National Convention at caucuses in February and March, after New Hampshire and Iowa had their votes on Jan. 19 and Jan. 27.

So let's be clear, here. D.C.'s votes at the convention are marginal -- in fact, I think "votes" is really "vote," because it's only one ? in the first place. But now, with our "non-binding primary," our meaningless votes are meaningless EVEN TO OUR OWN REPRESENTATIVES. Maybe that explains why only 10 percent of registered D.C. Democrats voted. This is what democracy looks like. This is what democracy looks like? Oy.

I voted for Howard Dean. I don't even Howard Dean particularly, it was just that he was the only viable candidate on the ballot -- he, Sharpton, Kucinich and Mosely Braun were the only names you'd recognize. I mean, I guessed that saved me some time actually informing myself about which candidate I really would like to be the nominee, and I can use that time to do my nails and watch old episodes of Degrassi, but it would have been nice to actually have a vote that counted for anything. Apparently the whole point of this fiasco was to raise consciousness about D.C.'s lack of representation, so I'll do my part: We have no representation. It sucks. It's stupid and I want to stop paying federal income taxes until I have some, and that would get me arrested. So please, people, when you go vote in your nice cushy states that actually count for something, remember us disenfranchised paupers over here, and vote for someone who's going to at least take the idea of statehood seriously. Which means voting for a Democrat, first of all. Among them, I don't know -- at least Dean had the decency to flout the DNC and put his name down on our ballot; maybe he'd pull through. Hell if I know, though, because I didn't have to learn anything about his candidacy, because he was the only real candidate I could have voted for.

Alright, I'm done. What do you have to do to get some apple butter around this place?

Six big apples, cored, peeled and finely chipped
1/2 c. apple cider
2 c. brown sugar, firmly packed (we used much less because our apples were very sweet, not at all tart)
1 1/2 t. ground cinnamon
1 t. ground nutmeg
1 t. ground cloves

Place apples and apple cider in 1 1/2-quart microwave-save bowl. Cover tightly with plastic wrap (we used a plate because we were paranoid about that no-microwaving-saran-wrap thing). Microwave on high 15 minutes. Carefully remove plastic wrap (duh) and stir in remaining ingredients. Return to microwave and cook, uncovered, 10 minutes more, stirring every 2 to 3 minutes. Transfer mixture to a blender or food processor and process until smooth. Store in airtight container in refrigerator. Yield: about 2 pints of apple butter.

Weird, huh? I forgot about all that microwaving, but it was really easy and the stuff turned out well. Yum. I need to go to bed before I decide it's time for a big cooking project.