Something's funky with my comments, so listen, you. Bush's opinion polls, our status as a sovreign nation and my personal opinion about terrorism have NOTHING to do it. What I was talking about is the total inconsistency in what the U.S. purports to be doing what these pamphlets say -- i.e., we ARE waging a holy war. We're using God-with-a-capital-G (if not in word, than in spirit) to prove our point. The language of those pamphlets is pretty unambiguous: revenge, hellfire and damnation, seeking justice for the dead. You can think that's right or wrong, but you absolutely cannot argue that that's what they're saying. Well, you probably can, but you'd be a freak. OK? OK.

And don't drag Plato into it. If we were using Plato's -- Socrates' -- literal idea of a republic, we'd be abandoning babies in caves, outlawing imitative art and assigning people careers based on the precious metals in their souls. The only thing that bugs me more than people invoking Plato's Republic is people starting arguments with the phrase "the founding fathers intended." They *intended* rich, white, land-owning men to run this country. You can talk about the modern interpretation of their words or the spirit behind the law, but once you go literal, the argument loses all credibility. Ditto with Plato. OK? OK. Again. Hi Ben and Lauren, by the way.

So here's today's excitement: I won the office football pool! I RULE! I have several trusty methods of choosing teams based on meanness of mascot, places I'd like to live and color of uniform... but the one that came through this week was the very scientific... drumroll, please... alphabet! That's right, kids, I chose the teams that came first in the alphabet. And I triumphed over all the football fanatics who walk these halls. Me and my $34 are sitting pretty.