Hi there! I'm George W. Bush. Know something? I'm not going to sign that treaty thing from that Japan city I've never heard of even though those people from the country of Europe want me to! That would make my best friends really mad.

Hey, I have an idea -- let's make China mad instead! Ha ha! Because my daddy says if you can "win" a war then people will like you, and they won't worry so much about the economy!

Those mean editorial writers at The Washington Post think my tax cut is a really bad idea, but I think they smell! Major @#$@#holes.

*Note: This copy was edited for spelling and grammar.
All sarcasm and ill-humor, however, is still intact.*