(This kind of looks like my fish, but mine is much, much, much cooler. And redder. And has longer, flowier fins.) For the first time in my weblogging career, I wish I had a webcam so I could broadcast my fish to the greater Internet community. I really think it would be a kindhearted gesture of community service on my part. My fish is gorgeous (and a genius), and he has now relocated to the sort of environment a truly remarkable fish such as he deserves: a refurbished gallon jar that once held pickled pepperocinis. (They were free at the pizza place near the office, and don't worry, it was run through the dishwasher several times.) We are talking deluxe accomodations, here -- he has new blue rocks to go with his deep red self, and I took cuttings of the Magical Office Plant That Grows with No Natural Light and stuck them in the open mouth of the jar. Apparantly the fish like to nibble on the roots, once they sprout. He's totally intrigued by them, too, and keeps swimming up to them really fast and bumping them with his nose. The human equivalent of this tank is like a penthouse apartment in a swanky refurbished Adams Morgan building right off of 18th Street with a sparse, Asian-esque decor. A dee-luxe apartment -- fishbowl -- in the sky.